There is no official route. The course includes a start, a mystery location, three checkpoints, and a GREAT BIG FABULOUS FINISH PARTY. All teams must begin at the starting line, hit all designated checkpoints, and then cross the finish line. It is up to you to choose your own route, factoring in street surface, traffic, pedestrians, and potential snow accumulation. We might suggest the shortest course, but you might think you are smarter than us.

Your entire team must remain checked in at each checkpoint, and “rest” for 20 minutes. Your check-in time begins when ALL team members are present, so keep an eye on the stragglers.

The SMASHED Board of Fools will serve as Judge and Jury for all petitions of all things fair and unfair. Even if we are drunk with excitement over the day’s shenanigans!

Teams must include six (6) members. It is not required, but we encourage you to have at least one member of each sex on your team. Its does help make things more interesting. We’ll make a case by case decision on hermaphrodites.

The same six members must start, finish, and hit every checkpoint together. You may not swap in designated runners, though you may rotate positions (hey ohhh!).

Five Pullers/Runners must be attached in some way to the cart during the entire course (except at checkpoints). You choose your own form of rigging. One person (Musher) is free to run behind the cart, though he or she should have a hand on the cart at all times. The Musher may ride in the cart, but this is dangerous and not recommended. If you do decide to ride in the cart we strongly suggest that a helmet of some sort is worn. It’s not only practical, but it’s funny. And it’s the law in some states (you know, those really progressive states with legislation about riding in grocery carts with helmets).

Teams must be on foot at all times. Bikes, rollerblades, jets, or rocket packs are not allowed. That also means no subways, cars, vans, taxis, or other conveyances. You can walk, or you can run, you might even hide, but you have to be on foot. Hell, you can carry you cart the entire way if you want, but that would totally suck.

Teams must use a standard shopping cart. Any size cart is fine, as long as it is not a child's cart or a toy.

Carts may be modified, but they must include every part of the original cart. We generally don’t recommend modifications that require blowtorches or wire cutters, but if you do come up with some whacked-out architectural wonder, just make sure you have all parts of the original cart involved.

Carts must ride on original caster wheels. Wheels may be any size, but they must be solid rubber. No inflatable tires.

Carts may not be motorized; though you can have motors associated with you cart, as long as they do not impact the forward motion of you cart. If you have a motor that activates a giant fountain of Cheez Whiz, that would be ok. A motor that propels your cart is not.

You are responsible for your own cart. We suggest a bike lock. Other teams might try to steal your cart and if they succeed, that would really blow your chances of winning.

In the case of fresh snow or ice, carts MAY ride on sleds or skis.

Let’s be real clear here: We do not condone any activity that jeopardizes the safety of Idiotarod participants or observers.

This is supposed to be both fun and embarrassing, but not life threatening. You and your entire team will be disqualified immediately if it is perceived that a team tried to willfully inflict serious injury (we saw that ridiculous CSI:NY episode — don’t pull any of that stuff here). This includes any activity that causes someone to fall, tip over, hurl into traffic, unintentionally maim pedestrians, or destroy private property. You might think that something like eggs are benign and funny, but consider that our Board president spent hours explaining to various city officials that eggs were not considered a deadly weapon. Nonetheless, a LOT of people had serious issues about eggs last year, so they are now on the unacceptable list. No food products get hurled. Please remember that if the community views our acts as malicious, they are more likely to complain to city officials who could very easily get this and other fun events banned.

And speaking of maiming pedestrians, it is your responsibility to yield to them! Seriously, watch out for people on the streets or sidewalks. The fact that you’ve got a tricked-out shopping cart does not give you the right of way.

Also, please expect that you may get dirty.  SMASHED will not pay for dry cleaning your clothes. We also will not replace your pretty, pretty princess costume. So dress accordingly. Your nifty new Lacoste polo shirt is probably not a good choice of costume.

When we talk about Trickery, we mean street smarts. Chicanery. Tomfoolery of an entertaining nature. You get the picture. Got a friend who is DCPD? Maybe he or she might want to “delay and question” other teams… get it? Good. Please take a gander at our little list of OK and Not-So-OK trickery:

Examples of Acceptable Trickery:

1. *Personal favorite: The team that set up a fake roadblock claiming to be SMASHED officials, and would not let teams go until they had sung a Britney Spears song on the street. This is particularly funny since a board member of SMASHED fell for this!  Idiot. But totally acceptable if you can lie that well.
   

2. *Locking up another team's cart with a bike lock, then giving the key to the nearest Idiot Wrangler (who can unlock the cart after an appropriately embarrassing amount of time, assuming the team hasn't figured out a way to defeat the lock
   

3. *Relocating another team's unguarded cart and notifying an Idiot Wrangler where you hid it (Idiot Wranglers keep secrets as long as necessary)
   

4. *Finding a way to non-permanently gum up the wheels of another cart – Vaseline?
   

5. *Sending over a team of supermodels, male or female, to distract them from their allowable start time.
   

6. *Silly String, as long as it is not pointed up someone’s nose.
   

7. *Normal water guns – filled with water, NOT hot sauce, or liquor, or chocolate milk, but water.
   

8. *Anything that won't delay the other team more than an hour (especially if it's funny)
   

Examples of Unacceptable Trickery:

1. *Locking up another cart, then throwing the key down the nearest sewer grate (or other un-retrievable location)
   

2. *Chopping off the hands of other team members so they can't push their cart
   

3. *Starting a fight with another team to delay their departure.
   

4. *Planting illegal substances in another cart and flagging down a cop
   

5. *Setting off explosive devices in another cart. (As an aside, whoever threw the stinkbomb into Tom Tom last year was a dick)
   

6. *Water balloons, ketchup packets, high velocity Super Soakers, etc...
   

7. *Anything that could hurt someone
   

Indeed, this is an event where there’s a defined winner, but really it is meant to be a social activity of a fun and silly nature. Do not break laws or do harm to other participants. It is about testing your own willingness to make an ass of yourself. You are not expected to be in top physical condition or to run the entire time. You are expected to kind of be a good sport, have fun, meet new people and generally enjoy the day. You are expected to pretend to be a mature adult doing good for the world. Now mush, you huskies!!!!!!!!!!

The DC Idiotarod is brought to you by SMASHED!  If you’d like to get on our mailing list for other fun events, just send an email to dcsmashed-subscribe@yahoogroups.com. 

If anything on this page is unclear or you want further clarification, just email idiotarod@gmail.com.