The Iditarod is a famous long-distance race in which big burly yapping dogs tow a sled and driver across Alaska. The 2008 DC Idiotarod is kind of the same thing, but no sled and no dogs. And most likely no snow, what with global warming and all that! Instead of a sled, teams pull a shopping cart (or “carriage” for you Southerners). And instead of dogs, there are people pulling the cart. Oh, and this one is in DC, not Alaska, so it definitely saves you time and travel expenses. All this and we’re even raising money for charity!

Following the first Idiotarod that started in San Francisco more than 10 years ago, a number of cities now host similar races. Use that function called Google to find details and Websites about events in New York City, Phoenix, and Chicago. Each city is a little bit different. Check them out!

So how do we mush DC style? It’s a day of playing in DC with shopping carts, serving as the object of attention and mockery for tourists, possibly making a jackass of yourself with friends, meeting new people, potentially dressing up in a silly costume, and generally having one of the best days of your life! Why would you do this? For charity, of course! (More on that below.)

You need to register a team. You need a shopping cart. You need at least 5 friends, or strangers that you can pay, to form a team. You need an imagination, and a love of the absurd. Due to the overwhelming growth of this little event, we’re capping the number of teams and carts this year to 100. It is first come, first registered. You must be registered, paid and all set by midnight March 1, 2008 (exactly 1 week before the event).

Some people are in this for creative glory, and don’t give a damn about breaking a new land-speed record for shopping carts. Some people do indeed care about getting a great finishing time. And still others don’t actually like running.

If you fit into the third category, look for the details about the Leisure Course.

Pissed off about that soap box derby that you lost when you were eight? Think you are smarter than the average bear navigating the streets of DC? Think you can do it with style? Well then it’s the Racer Course for you, my friend.

The Idiotarod will start with team check-in at the Front Page in Dupont Circle between 10:30 am and 1:30 pm. All teams must complete registration by 1:30 pm, or teams from the wait list may be allowed to register.

All courses begin together at exactly 2:30 pm. You may recall that last year we had a racer course and a leisure course. Let’s just say that the racer course is about your time and the leisure course is about your costumed glory — be sure to identify your team’s choice during registration!

So what is the difference between the courses? The Racer Course, as the name implies, is the full magilla. You and your team will actually run the course for time. The Leisure Course will be more of a parade where you participate in the esoteric sense of taking a leisurely stroll around town to show off your cart and costumes with no concern about time. This is for the folks who are, shall we say, less than competitive. Of course you can feel free to run the Leisure course too, if you’re so inclined.

All of the advance information that you need is below. At least one team member needs to read the whole thing, so you understand the basics and the official rules, but we highly recommend all team members read the rules and info below.

Mark your calendar (March 8, 2008) and rally your friends.

Form your team, register (by 11:59pm on Saturday, March 1) and pay your team’s $60 entry fee.

Acquire a shopping cart.

Create costumes for your team and cart (not required, but encouraged — get ideas here, here and here)

Show up, check-in, navigate the route, and go to the GREAT BIG FABULOUS FINISH PARTY

Wake up the next day and feel darned good that you made a difference in the world, even though your body might hurt just a little too much and you have some unexplained marks in some unexpected places.

Each team is composed of six people (five pullers/runners [the “dogs” if you will] and one musher), and one cart.

Every member of the team must be connected to the cart during the running of the Idiotarod, in some way--by rope, by hand, etc...  We don’t actually suggest that you are tied TO the cart, because you know, you might get tired and your other teammates might be fast, but you need to be running/walking with your cart…. No sprinting ahead!

The same six team members must start and complete the course, and be present at each checkpoint. Along the way you can have a pit crew to cheer you on if you like, but they are not official. But you could all dress alike if it makes you happy.

Team members may rotate position around the cart.

Five people pull the cart (by hand or rigging of your own choosing) and one musher runs behind with a hand on the cart. We do not suggest that the musher ride in the cart, and should a musher decide to ride in a cart it is at his or her own risk. IF a musher chooses to ride versus run, we STRONGLY suggest a helmet. Seriously folks, this is for charity, not Jackass.

We are tempted to actually tell you that no one should ride in the cart. Last year, a couple of teams decided to try a little game of shopping cart chicken and there was a pretty serious injury. The injured guy was cool, but we’d really like to avoid seeing anyone hurt on this day. So how about we strongly advise you not to RIDE in the cart, unless it is an integral part of the creative concept of your cart, and if you do have cart riders, you use extraordinary caution. Gratuitous cart riding will be frowned on.

You should come up with a catchy team name…there might even be prizes.

Got your team already? Great, go ahead and register for the Idiotarod!

At the start of the course, your team will be given a card with a clue to a mystery location. You must find the mystery location to obtain your course map. This also goes for the leisure group. Who doesn’t like a little mystery?

Your team must hustle to three checkpoints and then head to the GREAT BIG FABULOUS FINISH PARTY. You must hit each checkpoint. Remember, all members of the team must be present at each checkpoint. You will be held at each checkpoint for exactly 20 minutes. When you check in at a designated checkpoint, an Idiot Wrangler (official volunteer) will record your time of entry and will note the time you are allowed to resume traveling the course.

Plan to make a fool of yourself or just come and mock your friends. It’s all in the name of having fun and giving something back to the community!

In all seriousness, please be extraordinarily respectful to the people at our checkpoints – not only roaming judges or Idiot Wranglers, per se, but the people who work nearby, random tourists wanting to be cool like you, homeless people, etc… People hate it when fun spills on them and they are not invited in.  And, there will be secret plants along the way that MAY have time cards to give you to enhance your chances of winning. Note that these rewards will be for people in the Racer Course only. Leisure course participants have no need for time rewards.

This event will happen no matter the conditions — rain or shine, snow or sleet. Kind of like the postal service, but without the surly attitude. In the end, this is just a silly opportunity for you to act like a fool with your friends. That’s the real challenge (or for many, the easy part!).

The DC Idiotarod is brought to you by SMASHED!  If you’d like to get on our mailing list for other fun events, just send an email to dcsmashed-subscribe@yahoogroups.com. 

If anything on this page is unclear or you want further clarification, just email idiotarod@gmail.com.

March 11, 2008 - Despite the rain and wind, nearly 80 teams competed in the 2008 DC Idiotarod!  The carts and costumes were outrageous, hilarious and downright impressive, once again exceeding our lofty expectations.  At the end of the day, it was “Team Punisher” who claimed the “Blistering Fast Award” for 1st place in the Racer Course, after 2 years of almost winning!  And then there’s the “Rock Rowdies”, who won the “Dead F*cking Last” award for finishing the race after everyone else, but thanks to their tons of time credits, they won the “Chafed Nipples Award” for 1st place in the Leisure Course!  Congratulations to the winners and all participants!  You can see all the finish times and other awards on the results page.

Special thanks to My Brother’s Place and Hamilton’s for hosting the awesome after-party!